Oh George Lucas. A name once synonymous with cinematic brilliance, creativity and originality. Now a name synonymous with crap prequels, characters so annoying you want to smash their CGI faces in, truly awful dialogue, and a smug bearded face. I mean, let’s start with the dialogue. It is AWFUL. Here is a tasty example:
Anakin: You are so… beautiful.
Padme: It’s only because I am so in love.
Anakin: No, it’s because I’m so in love with you.
Oh please! Give your audience some credibility. I’ve read four year old’s work that is more creative than that. Trust Lucas to write so badly that he can even give love a bad name. But enough of that. How about the special effects? Why does he feel it necessary to cram so much into one shot that you don’t know where to look or what to take in? There isn’t time to appreciate it. It’s the Las Vegas strip approach to beauty: More, more and more is best (for a headache, yes). And who is responsible for the number of moons in every landscape/sunset shot? Who was it that said at every opportunity during pre-production, “You know what this shot needs? Another moon!” “But it’s got 4 already…” “Doesn’t matter! Let’s put another one there. Ooooh, we can place it over the top corner of the larger one behind it, and give it a different colour! Oh yes!” “Err, sorry, are you 4 years old too?”
So much grates about this film I just don’t have time for it all: Why does General Grievous, a robot, wheeze and cough all the time? He is a ROBOT. They do not have lungs or asthma or old age as they are made of METAL; Vader’s first few steps looked like a cross between the village granddad doing a pantomime and Frankenstein with a pins and needles in his legs; And what is with pinball Yoda? This is a 700 year old green muppet with a walking stick – how plausible is it that he pings around like a grasshopper during mating season with eucalyptus oil on his Johnson? And don’t just say ‘The Force’ because that is not an answer. It’s an excuse. I could go on, but I won’t, as it just makes me angry. Credit where it’s due: Ewan McGregor has a cool beard.
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Anakin: You are so… beautiful.
Padme: It’s only because I am so in love.
Anakin: No, it’s because I’m so in love with you.
Oh please! Give your audience some credibility. I’ve read four year old’s work that is more creative than that. Trust Lucas to write so badly that he can even give love a bad name. But enough of that. How about the special effects? Why does he feel it necessary to cram so much into one shot that you don’t know where to look or what to take in? There isn’t time to appreciate it. It’s the Las Vegas strip approach to beauty: More, more and more is best (for a headache, yes). And who is responsible for the number of moons in every landscape/sunset shot? Who was it that said at every opportunity during pre-production, “You know what this shot needs? Another moon!” “But it’s got 4 already…” “Doesn’t matter! Let’s put another one there. Ooooh, we can place it over the top corner of the larger one behind it, and give it a different colour! Oh yes!” “Err, sorry, are you 4 years old too?”
So much grates about this film I just don’t have time for it all: Why does General Grievous, a robot, wheeze and cough all the time? He is a ROBOT. They do not have lungs or asthma or old age as they are made of METAL; Vader’s first few steps looked like a cross between the village granddad doing a pantomime and Frankenstein with a pins and needles in his legs; And what is with pinball Yoda? This is a 700 year old green muppet with a walking stick – how plausible is it that he pings around like a grasshopper during mating season with eucalyptus oil on his Johnson? And don’t just say ‘The Force’ because that is not an answer. It’s an excuse. I could go on, but I won’t, as it just makes me angry. Credit where it’s due: Ewan McGregor has a cool beard.
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